Lousy Smarch Weather
by bonniesansclyde
Summary: Cas joins the Winchesters and is met with interesting consequences.
1. Lousy Smarch Weather

Dean hated winter. It was cold, it was wet and it made him want to shoot someone. The worst part was the snow, because, being on the road, means that there wasn't much in the way of garages for his baby, she got cold, ya know? But it was May now so no snow right?

Wrong. Right now, they were busy hunting a Wendigo in Fort Lupton, Colorado and it was snowing. In May.

Sam may have been content with sitting in their motel room, drinking his coffee and doing research on his laptop, bundled up in one of the motel comforters, but not Dean. It was snowing and Dean had some work to do.

There was no parking structure at all, but he wasn't really expecting one at a five-star motel like this. So between pushing the snow out of the way behind the Impala and wiping it off of the top and hood, Dean was grumbling under his breath, cursing the fall of snow in May, "I mean come on!"

He didn't even have a winter coat, not one that could withstand the temperatures outside right now. So he stood there, waiting for the snow to build up enough that he could wipe it off or shovel it away, all the while shaking, breathing into his hands to keep at least some warmth in them.

It was two hours of nothing but standing and wiping and shoveling before there was a fluttering of wings and a hot coffee placed in his hands. "Your temperature has dropped below 95, Dean. You need to go inside." There was concern on Castiel's face and it warmed Dean's heart a bit to think that Cas cared, ignoring the fact that Cas knew his exact temperature at this moment because, weird.

"'m f-fine, Cas" Dean replied, but he didn't really believe himself, and judging by the look on his face, Cas didn't either. Now that he mentioned it, Dean did feel a little weak, and he'd lost all feeling in his hands about half an hour ago. But he had to keep the snow off. She couldn't handle that much snow all at once, and from what Sam said earlier, they were expecting at least 8 inches or more tonight alone, with more coming the next day.

"No." Cas pressed his fingers to Dean's forehead and he was suddenly in the bathroom of their motel room. Dean would have protested, but his body chose that moment to lose all semblance of control and he started falling to the tile beneath him.

"Okay, maybe I'm not..." it came out as a weak mumble. Cas started work on the shower, making sure it was hot enough to get Dean warm again. Dean just watched, shaking from where he was propped up against the wall, all the while wondering what exactly Cas was hoping to do here. He was alright with him forcing Dean to take a shower, but he could hardly stand as it was, let alone under the relaxing spray of a much needed shower.

Cas walked back over to Dean and started to take off his jacket before Dean was fully aware that Cas was even in front of him. "Wait... wait. L-let me. Igotit." Dean mumbled weakly pushing Cas' hands away. He turned around before slowly taking his jacket off, blaming the blush that was creeping up into his cheeks on the weather outside. He glanced back to see Cas watching him intently, probably making sure he was truly capable of undressing himself.

"C-Cas turn around, don't be a p-perv." Dean attempted to chuckle, but it came out as more of a cough with a wheeze at the end.

There was a shuffling of feet and Dean felt a little better getting undressed now that he was not being watched by someone he regrettably thought about too often in his free time. It's not that Dean didn't like him, heck it was exactly the opposite, but he wasn't going to be the one who corrupted an Angel just because he got a little too hot whenever he was around.

Dean had gotten down to just his boxers before another shiver sent him falling to the floor and there was a arm wrapped around his waist. Cas was so warm and he smelled like the grass on a sunny day. Dean couldn't help but lean in and relax into the arms that now surrounded him.

Dean heard a snap and suddenly he was completely naked and being dragged to the shower by a very naked Castiel. Dean would have liked to say he cared, that this was too uncomfortable for him, but he honestly couldn't make the effort to protest. Cas slowly helped him into the shower and it was a good thing that he was standing right behind Dean because the minute the water washed over him, Dean began to slump down, letting out a quiet groan of aproval.

Cas tensed behind him and let out a long, slow breath that tickled the back of his neck. Dean was lost to the heat of the shower, relaxing back against Cas until their bodies were pressed fully against each other. He had almost managed to fall asleep before the shower was turned off and Cas was helping him out, drying him off as carefully as possible.

"You're too good to me, Cas." He mumbled as he was led out of the room. Sam wasn't there which probably meant this wasn't actually their motel room and maybe one that was down the hall. Cas helped him into the bed and hesitated before carefully crawling in behind him.

Dean instantly buried himself in Cas' arms, relaxing into the warmth Castiel shared. It wasn't long before Dean had fallen asleep to the light sound of Cas' breath and the feel of his arms around him.


	2. Falling

When Dean woke the next morning, he instinctively snuggled closer into the warm arms that were wrapped around him. It took his brain a little while to catch up with what had happened. He slowly opened his eyes to see Cas sleeping next to him, arms wrapped snugly around him keeping him warm as he slept.

Dean layed there and watched as his chest rose and fell, before trying topullsaway from the too hot embrace of a full grown Angel. Cas shifted and pulled him closer letting out a contented sigh when Dean was no longer squirming against him.

"Cas." He whispered with no response from the Angel. "Cas man, I gotta piss." He shook Cas' arm and got a grumble before Cas rolled over and went back to sleep. Dean carefully slipped out of bed and walked to the bathroom, making sure to close the door slowly so as to not wake Cas.

Wait... "Angels don't sleep," he mumbled. Bathroom break ignored, Dean walked back into the motel room. He stood staring at the sleeping angel for what seemed like hours before finally getting the courage to walk over. "Cas..." He shook his arm again and was again rewarded with a grumble. "Castiel!" He shouted forcefully

That got his attention. Cas shot upright, almost knocking heads with Dean if it weren't for his hunter reflexes. "Dean." He greeted, frantically looking around the room for the danger. There was none. "Dean, why did you shout?"

"You wouldn't wake up." Dean said matter of factly, like it was obvious to anyone with a brain. "Wake up? I do not require sleep. In this form, the grace shou- oh..." Castiel cut himself off and looked down at his lap. He stayed silent for a while, the only sound in the room the faint clicking of the heater as it fought valiantly with the cold outside.

"Cas...? You okay?" Dean sat down on the bed before realizing he wasn't wearing any clothes. He pushed aside his embarrassment before asking again. "What's wrong...?"

Cas looked back up at Dean and the vulnerablity he saw there tore Deans heart apart. "I... I think I'm falling." If he hadn't been watching Cas' lips, he wouldn't have known that he actually said it. "I'm losing my grace..." There was another silence, and it seemed that even the heater was shocked because it wasn't even making any noise either.

"How is that even possible?" Dean said once he found his voice and even then it wasn't anything above a murmur. "I have been here too long. I need to go back to the Host, or risk losing my grace." Cas was staring at the wall on the other side of Dean, almost as if in silent conversation with someone far away. "That is what Gabriel says for me to do. Goodbye, Dean."

Dean was alone in the room, with nothing but a couple feathers and the warmth left from where he sat to keep him company.


	3. Nancy Killed Her Husband

They didn't hear from Cas for few weeks. Dean tried not to worry, he really did, but anytime he heard a bird fly from a tree or saw the tail end of a trench coat around a corner, a certain Angel kept popping into his mind. After a heated rant from Sam about the importance of communication because Dean could have been in Florida for all he knew, they killed off the Wendigo and headed for California, where they had heard tell of a vampire nest that was getting a little out of hand. They had just made it through Utah when Dean's cell phone rang out, filling his pocket with the smooth sounds of Metallica.

"Hello." Dean gruffly said into the receiver once he extricated it from the confines of his jeans. Then sound that met his ears was like hearing a choir of angels singing. Well, one Angel. And he wasn't exactly singing.

"Dean, I have a favor I must ask of you." Cas' voice was rough, almost as if he was sick for the last couple of days and still hadn't gotten over it. "Anything, Cas, where the Hell have you been? Dena mumbled into the phone, trying to ignore the look Sam was giving him. "Get over here."

There was a pause on the other end and Dean was about to check if Cas had hung up when he heard a faint whisper from the Angel. " I... I can't. I can't do it, Dean. You have to pick me up." If it was possible, Cas sounded even more vulnerable than he did that morning in the motel room. There was a beeping sound coming through in the background, rhythmic, like that of a heart monitor.

Dean pulled off to the side of the road, for fear of running into someone. "Where are you?" He was trying to keep his voice even, but even he could hear that he wasn't all that calm. " I don't..." Cas trailed off and there was the sound of a conversation on the other side of the line, muffled by a hand on the mouthpiece before Cas came back. "The woman says I am at St. Helen's Hospital in New Jersey. They will not 'release' me until one of my relatives comes. I do not understand... Why can't I go?"

"Hey... It'll be alright, okay?" Dean tried to be soothing and calm but inside he was freaking out. "I'll come get you. Just give me a couple days. Can't teleport like yo- just give me a bit." Dean glanced over at Sam and mouthed "New Jersey" before turning the car around and heading east. "I'll be there as soon as I can."

"There is no need to hurry. John has just found his twin brother and Jessica is struggling with the choice between the two. And no one even knows that Nancy was the one who killed her husband, everyone thinks it was the gardener, who she is having relations with." There was a long pause before Cas spoke again, distant like he wasn't paying attention. "It is quite fascinating."

Dean laughed, and it was the first time he had been happy in the past couple weeks. "See you soon, Cas." Dean said before he hung up.

Sam was looking at Dean with a mixture of confusion and amusement, making his face contort in a way that, given any other circumstance, would force Dean to pull back over. "Stop looking at me like that, Sammy."

"Like what?" Sam replied, giving him the most innocent look he could manage, which was rather good, with all the practice he had had in his lifetime. He pulled out the map before adding, "I'm just waiting for you to tell me where your boyfriend is." Dean stared at the road ahead of them, trying to ignore the blush that was threatening to creep onto his face. "Shut up... he's not my boyfriend." There was another pause. "He's at St. Helen's."

Sam's face split into a grin, before Dean looked over and glared.

"Jerk."

"Bitch."

Dean could hear the "Assbutt" that should have been there, and sighed.


	4. St Helen's, New Jersey

When Dean and Sam finally arrived in New Jersey, Dean looked about ready to fall over. He had been up for days, switching shifts with Sam to get some sleep, and even then he didn't sleep much at all. He had a lot of time to think about what was happening with Castiel. He didn't deserve something like this, being trapped to one spot waiting for a human of all things to come pick him up.

Yet there he was, waiting for Dean. It would have been sweet, almost embarrassing even, that Cas called him first, if it wasn't for the fact that it was either them or Gabriel and Dean wasn't sure that the ArchAngel would be up for showing up to pick up baby bro. Dean laughed at the thought. Gabe standing there, signing paperwork while Cas stood in the background, looking as small as possible.

But thinking about it, and seeing it are two different things. When Dean walked into Cas' room, he wasn't expecting to see a small light haired man sitting next to him, watching TV and acting like nothing was wrong. "Hey there, Dean-o. Cassy here got lonely. Shouldn't leave your boyfriend all alone like that." Gabriel said as soon as Dean walked in, eyes still glued to the TV screen above the bed.

Dean just rolled his eyes and replied "He's not my boyf-" but then Cas chose that moment to look over and give a sheepish smile and Dean couldn't quite force himself to finish that sentence, ending it with a huff. So instead he went to sit next the Cas on the other side of the bed, propping his feet up on the edge and leaning back to watch the soap opera on the TV.

"What'd I miss?" Dean said, trying to ease the awkward silence that had fallen over them.

"The gardener, Clyde, is in confinement, and Jessica is trying to figure out how to tell John that she is impregnated with her brother's child. And now there is a new character, Paul. He's Jessica's dad and we just learned that he is a priest." Cas explained matter-of-factly before turning to Dean. "Is this how people act in 'suburbia?' This is more complicated than anything I have ever seen."

Dean just laughed again and rolled his eyes, gently patting the hand Cas had rested on Dean's shin. "Not normally, Cas. Usually, there's a crazy plastic surgeon too." He winked at the nurse who had just walked in and chuckled when she blushed a little. Cas wrinkled his nose at this and Gabe whined out "Spoilers!" Dean couldn't stop laughing for a whole 5 minutes, almost falling out of his chair a couple of times.

"I do not see how this is so humorous, Dean. Doctors go through intense training before they are given their license. Mocking them in their place of business is inappropriate and rude." Cas snapped at him and this sent Dean into another fit of giggles that even Gabe joined in on a little bit later.

When he finally needed more air, Dean stopped to look at Cas. He was focused back on the TV, or at least was pretending he was. He had moved his hand off of Dean's shin and was resolutely not looking at him. Gabe took that as his cue to leave, dragging Sam out by the sleeve of his shirt. Dean just stared at Cas, waiting for him to instigate a conversation.

When the preview for the next episode came on and still Cas had not spoken, Dean ventured to talk to him. "What happened to you, Cas?" his light mood now forgotten in respect for the serious one that drifted in almost as if out of nowhere.

Cas sighed and it was just so _human_ that Dean had to stop himself from climbing onto the bed to hug him. "I... when I left, I had to go up to the Host, as I had said. They were upset with my actions, telling me that I had betrayed them with my choices." He paused and looked down, staring at his hands. Dean took this opportunity to take Cas' hand in his, which totally meant nothing he would tell himself later. Cas took a deep breath and continued, voice a little shakier than before. "They took it. They took my Grace."


	5. Cash Only Diner

They were back on the road again, and Dean felt a little better. Driving always made it seem like there was nothing wrong, just him and the blacktop. If he looked in the rearview mirror, he would see the sleeping angel resting against the side of the car, with Dean's coat pushed up under his head like a pillow. Every Time he looked back however, Sam gave him this look, a sad look like Cas was some dying pet that they were taking to the vet.

He tried not to look back.

Whenever Cas was awake on their long journey back to California where they still had to deal with that vampire nest, he would demand they pull over so that he could get something to eat. It was usually a burger, and it made Dean happy thinking that he was the one who gave him that food preference.

At some point in the drive, they had to stop at an ATM because the dinner they were going to didn't take credit cards. Dean knew this from experience, having stopped at this particular diner every time they passed it. 'Best apple pie this side of the Mississippi' the sign said and Dean had yet to find a place to prove them wrong.

As they pulled up to the drive-up ATM, Cas plastered himself to the drivers side back seat window, staring as Dean put in the card and started typing on the keypad. "Why are we here?" he asked Sam, but Sam just replied "Money." Cas turned his attention back to the machine just in time to see Dean get the money out of the slot and put the Impala in gear, pulling away from the ATM.

When they pulled up to the diner, Castiel was still looking at the seat in front of him trying to figure out what had just happened. Dean put the plastic thing into the machine, did something, and then it gave him money. Cas looked over to see Dean staring at him, waiting for him to get out but not pressing him. "I apologize." he said before he climbed out of the car. "I was thinking of something."

Dean didn't say anything to that, just grabbed his arm and led him into the diner, guiding him to the table that Sam had already sat down at. Sliding into the seat next to Cas, Dean glanced over at him before looking at the menu, even though he didn't need to. "I think after this hunt we should head back to Bobby's. Sort this Angel thing out."

Cas had been looking out the window, but snapped his head over to Dean when he said this. "There is no 'thing.' There is nothing to 'sort.' I have fallen, Dean. There is nothing we can do." Cas went back to looking out the window, pointedly not looking at either of the Winchester brothers. "And I will have what I normally have."

Dean could tell he hit a nerve, but he learned recently that even though Cas didn't have his Angel-mojo, he was still one of the last people you wanted against you. "I just meant... You shouldn't be like this, Cas. We need to sort out why..." Dean tried not to show how scared he was. Castiel is an Angel, but here they have Cas, just a confused American who has no idea what is going on in the world around him, and it scares him.

Cas hissed out his reply. "I know why, Dean. Let me out." Cas pushed against Dean until Dean moved out of the seat before climbing out and heading back to the car. Dean and Sam exchanged looks and Sam just looked back down at the menu gesturing his head in the direction of the car. Dean just sighed and slid out of the booth. "Just get us number fives, you big wuss."

Dean slowly walked back outside to the car to see Cas sitting on the hood with his arms crossed, staring at the ground in front of him. Dean leaned against the hood next to him and folded his arms as well. They were quiet for a while, the silence only broken by the cars driving by on the highway.

"You wanna talk about it?" Dean ventured after the silence was getting to be just a little too much for him. Cas shook his head and kept staring at the floor. "Just go eat your food. I'll be okay." But Dean stayed there waiting for Cas to speak again.

"I don't know what is happening to me, Dean. I have been thrown from the Host for my actions, but I see nothing wrong with what I have done." He sighed before continuing. "My father, he does not care. There was no problem before now." He looked up at Dean. "The only difference is that... well the only difference is you."

Dean just stared at him, letting his mind catch up to what he just heard. He looked back down at the oil stain in the pavement that he was staring at earlier and mumbled, "Yeah, well I'm sorry then. Didn't mean for you to get kicked out." Cas chuckled slightly and rested his hand on his shoulder. "It is worth it, Dean. I am glad that I have fallen. Looking back at all of the choices I have made, centered around you, I see that there is not any other way I would have chosen it." Dean chanced a glance at him and smiled slightly. "Thanks, Cas."

Castiel was still staring at him, eyes darting across his face, a small smile playing at the corners of his mouth. "It's 'funny,' I think you would call it, they did leave me something." He gaze moved back up to meet Dean's. "Of all the things I could have kept, they still let me see your soul." They stared at each other for a while, simply looking at each before Cas leaned forward and pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth and pulling away, blushing as he walked back in. All Dean could do was chuckle and climb into the car to wait.


	6. There's Only Two Beds

Sammy was watching from the window. He knew he shouldn't have been but honestly, you could cut the sexual tension with a knife. As he watched, he couldn't help but see how fragile Castiel looked. He looked a lot better than when he was at St. Helen's but he looked empty, like he was missing a vital part of him, because he was. But every once in awhile, when he looked at Dean, it was almost like there was a spark in his eyes. Like that was why he was here in the first place, to stand next to Dean.

He was so wrapped up in his thoughts, he almost missed the reverent kiss Cas placed on Dean's lips. It made him smile, to think that Dean would have someone like he did. Dean needed someone to ground him, remind him that he needed to rest every so often, that he didn't need to save everyone. How an Angel of the Lord was fit for that, Sam wasn't sure. But it felt right, and that was all he needed.

Cas walked back into the diner and Sam could see the small blush that had crept across his face. "Hello, Sam." he mumbled before sliding into the seat across from him. Sam just smiled and patted Cas' hand. "Give him a bit."

They ate in silence after that, Sam happily munching away at his salad and Cas eating his burger, making noises that were not all that holy. Dean returned a couple minutes after the drama outside and Sam grinned at him as his sat down in the booth next to Cas. "You guys better not have taken any of my fries."

"I am afraid I may be guilty of that." Cas mumbled, chuckling very slightly at the look it got from Dean. "I am 'just kidding,' making a joke. Do you get it?" Sam smiled knowingly and Dean laughed, ruffling his hair lightly. "I get it." he said, stealing a fry from Cas' plate and eating it quickly.

"Dean, I-" Cas protested but Dean just leaned over and quickly kissed him on the cheek, making sure that Sam wasn't looking. Cas blushed and stared at his lap for the rest of the meal.

When they arrived at their motel room, they ran into a small problem. There were only two beds. It wasn't usually a problem, Castiel never slept before, but now he did. As much as Dean liked sharing a bed with his brother, he was a total bed hog, motel room beds not being big enough for him in the first place.

Sam just waved to them and slumped down on the bed farthest from the door, turning his back to them and falling asleep. Dean stared at Cas awkwardly. The last time they had shared a bed, it was because Dean needed to get warm, only that; and Cas had disappeared the morning after like some regretful lover of a one night stand. Dean knew what it really was but it still hurt that Cas didn't even stick around to talk about it after.

Dean went to sit on one side of the bed, shedding his coat and over shirt and slipping his shoes off. He slowly climbed into bed before he realized that Cas was standing in the middle of the room looking around. "Come on, man. You need sleep too." Dean patted the bed next to him.

Cas nodded and mirrored Dean's movements, stripping down to only a shirt and boxers before climbing into the bed next to Dean. He lay staring at the ceiling for half an hour just getting the nerve up to talk. "Dean..." he whispered. "Dean." He shook Dean and moved a little closer.

"Dean!" He said a little rougher when he would not wake up. Dean startled awake and looked over at Cas. "Hey... wassup?" He said brain still foggy from sleep.

"I... I'm scared." Cas mumbled quietly and Dean smiled fondly at him. "You don't have to be." he whispered, pulling him close. "You're okay." He was rubbing soothing circles on his back and Cas shivered, burrowing deeper into his arms. "I'm so scared, Dean. I..." Cas took a deep breath and relaxed into the hold after a bit, letting Dean's murmurs of reassurance.

He fell asleep clinging to Dean and praying that this would all be over soon.


	7. Glowing Bright In the Darkness

He was running. He didn't know where Sam and Dean were, but he was running. Everywhere around him there were eyes following him as he went, staring deep into him and looking at the emptiness inside. He turned a corner and saw Dean, arms reached out to him, soul glowing bright in the darkness all around him.

"Dean!" Cas tried to yell, but his voice was not there. He can't say anything, opening and closing his mouth like he is struggling for air. Dean waves Cas off and turns to walk away. Cas is screaming now, trying to get his attention. His face was streaked with tears and as the darkness consumed him, he was startled awake by a shake of his arm and a rough voice in his ear.

"Cas... Cas, calm down." Dean was frantically grabbing onto him, trying to get him to stop flailing. It took him a second to realize where he was. He was in the motel room with Dean. He looked up to see Dean's face, scrunched up into worry lines that he had seen only reserved for Sam

Cas relaxed into the hold and tried not to think about the emptiness he had felt when the Dean in the dream had left him. It was too real, and he didn't want to feel like that ever again. He clung tightly to Dean, not even hearing the low mumblings Dean was making against his hair. Cas was shaking, but soon, under the hand of Dean, he drifted back to sleep.

When Cas woke again, it was light out and he looked around before coming face to face with a sleeping Dean. He flinched away slightly, shocked by how peaceful he looked at that moment. The worry lines that littered his face in wakeful times were gone, leaving his face a smooth speckled oasis of stubble. He smiled and just lay there, watching the rise and fall of Dean's chest as he slept.

After a while, Dean woke up and smiled when he saw Cas. "Hey. Feeling better?" Cas blushed and nodded his head. "I do admit that that was quite embarrassing. I apologize for waking you." He made to move away, uncomfortable with the proximity, when Dean pulled him back and whispered, "It's fine. It was fine."

Dean stared at him for a while before leaning a little closer, "Can I ask you a favor?" he whispered when their lips were less than a centimeter apart. Cas could only nod, unable to speak, and even then it was a sorry example of a nod.

"Can I... is this okay?" he mumbled letting their lips brush together slightly. It was like something ignited in Cas and he pressed into the kiss, letting their lips slowly slide together. They were kissing for what seemed like hours, Deans hand slowly roaming over his sides, tickling the flesh underneath. It was invigorating, like walking outside on a cool spring day, the air crisp and fresh with new life.

Cas felt like he was flying, and he knew what it was like. The world had gone quiet, the only thing on his mind the body moving underneath him.

Sam cleared his throat from the other bed and it was only then that Cas realized that he was now laying on top of Dean, grinding against him slightly. He turned bright red rolling off of Dean and hiding his face in the pillow next to him. Dean was sporting a color similar to Cas', but he was not quite as shy about it.

"Shut up." Dean mumbled and Sam snorted, walking out of the room.


	8. Sammy's Not A Prop

Sam walked out into the open air and almost instantly there was a text on his phone. It was from Dean, "Sorry man", but Sam didn't want to go back, even if they had stopped. It wasn't that he minded, heck he didn't care that they were together. But having it thrown in his face that he was alone, was too much for him.

So he wandered, absently walking the streets and looking at the people passing by. Almost everyone seemed to be with another person, and it poked at the growing ache in his chest. He found himself walking by the pier and he plunked down on a bench near the side, just watching the waves.

He heard a flutter of wings and glanced over to see Gabriel sitting there, lazily sucking on a lollipop and watching the waves as well. "What's up, Samsquatch?" He said between a mouthful of candy. Sam sighed and looked over to Gabe. "Cas."

Gabriel grinned and replied, "No, I'm Gabe. But you got the angel part right, sweetcheeks." He slowly scooted closer to him on the bench and smiled, "I know what you mean though, kiddo. Brother's girlfriends can be really annoying."

Sam laughed and shook his head. Trust Gabriel of all people to make him feel better about himself. "So why are you here anyway?" he asked, suddenly realizing that, other than when he was amusing himself with playing tricks, they never saw much of Gabriel.

"I can't visit my favorite Winchester?" Sam snorted. The idea that Gabriel would have a favorite Winchester at all was comical, even more so the fact that it was Sam.

"Yeah, sure, whatever. Just don't bug me alright?" Sam turned back to the waves and was pleased to find that Gabe sat there with him, not even making a sound. He even ditched the lollipop in favor of silence. After a while though, he got bored and started fidgeting slightly.

"Go ahead, what do you want to say?" Sam tried to sound annoyed but the way Gabe was squirming on the seat was kind of adorable, in an I-can-kill-you-with-my-brain kind of way. "I'm bored..." Gabe's voice had a tiny whine to it and Sam raised his eyebrow. "You could always leave?"

Gabriel's face fell. "Oh. Okay, if you want." He mumbled, standing up to leave. Sam hesitated for a moment before grabbing Gabe's wrist. "Wait. Wait. You can stay... I guess." Gabe smiled and sat back down.

"Do you want to go do something?" Gabriel asked after a while. He was swinging his feet under the bench, being just a little too short for his feet to touch the ground. Sam smiled and looked over at him. "Where do you have in mind?" he asked hesitantly. This could have been just another trick after all, and Sam didn't really want to deal with that right now.

"I'll show you." Gabe replied quickly and grabbed his arm before flying off to an unknown place.


	9. Coulrophobia

When Sam opened his eyes again, he was surrounded by rides. He smiled a little to think that Gabe had taken him to a carnival. He always loved carnivals, except of course those things which shall not be named. But other than those demonic figures with perpetual smiles, he really did love the carnival.

Gabe dragged him off to a roller coaster first thing and Sam went willingly. He didn't want to find out what happened when someone defied an Archangel. While they stood in line, Sam looked around. It was a nice carnival, it even had some pretty impressive looking rides there. He looked over the Gabriel to catch him glancing away quickly, pretending he wasn't just looking at Sam.

"So why am I here?" Sam asked with a small smile on his face. Gabe just looked over at him, matching his smile with an even bigger one. "You looked like you needed a break from the hormonal teenagers." He had said it earnestly for sure, but Sam couldn't help but feel there was another reason. Regardless, he was here now, wherever here was, and he was going to enjoy it while he could. The line moved forward and they got onto the roller coaster, Gabe's face being partially obscured by the bar holding him in.

Sam laughed and Gabe just glared at him, giving him a look that could put all of Sammy's to shame. After all of the straps were checked and the attendants were out of the way, they started moving, and Sam felt the anticipating adrenaline coursing through his system. Gabe was bouncing next to him, swaying his legs and preparing for the inevitable.

It was cute, seeing Gabe this excited for something, but Sam had only a few seconds to appreciate it before the ride started and the only thing that was going through his mind was the rush of the roller coaster. When they got off a minute later, Sam was grinning. Gabe had a grin on his face, but for an entirely different reason.

He slowly took Sam's hand under the guise of dragging him off to another ride, and did just that. It was Gabe's favorite ride, Clown Around Creek. He liked it best because of how silly it was and he always went there second, after the roller coaster of course. Sam willingly went where Gabe took him, glancing around, and watching the people pass by give them looks. It was a bit uncomfortable, but again, he didn't want to be on the receiving end of Gabriel's wrath.

When they arrived at the ride, Sam saw the sign and froze. It had a picture of a giant clown, and unsurprisingly, in front of the ride there was a man dressed in the full garb, creepy painted on smile and all, selling balloon animals. Sam just cleared his throat and backed away a bit when Gabe let go of his hand. "I think I'll sit this one out." he mumbled before retreating to a nearby bench on the other side of a big tree.

Gabriel looked at him before shrugging and going on the ride anyway. While Gabe was in the ride, Sam was having a mini panic attack. It was stupid really to be afraid of clowns of all things, something that was supposed to bring laughter and joy, but he just couldn't get over it. He looked over and found the man selling the balloons looking at him. He quickly turned away and tried to take calming breaths, carefully not looking in that direction.

But he didn't have to, because the man walked over to him. "Are you alright?" he said quietly and Sam bolted upright, eyes going wide. "I'm fine." he managed to say, though his throat was going a little dry. He moved to sit somewhere else, and that happened to be when the ride was finished.

As Gabe walked out to find Sam, he saw his face and quickly ran over. "What's up, Sammy? You alright?" Sam just shook his head and kept looking at the ground. Gabe glanced around, trying to find the cause of his distress, when he locked eyes with the balloon vendor. The man chuckled and made the universal sign for crazy going back to the children around his feet.

"Did the clown says something? Cause I can go beat him up for you. I'm good at that." He was actually concerned at this point. Sam was holding his head in his hands, taking calming breaths, but failing every once in awhile. He was mumbling to himself and Gabe seemed to catch the words, "go" and "clown" from somewhere in that string of things.

Gabe hesitantly rested his hand on Sam's shoulder and he jumped, looking up at Gabriel. "Can we just go?" he mumbled, glancing back over at the clown, eyes still wide with fear. "Alright." Gabe said slowly, a little sad that they had to leave the park.

But just because they left the park, didn't mean they couldn't have fun. Gabriel carefully grabbed Sam's hand and flew off away from the clown and all of Sammy's fears.


	10. The Shot Heard 'Round the World

Back at the motel was... awkward to say the least. Cas was a little freaked out by his reactions earlier and was taking a shower to help calm himself down. It was one of his new pleasures, cleansing himself in the warm water spray, letting it wash over him. Dean had gone back to sleep so Cas wasn't too concerned that he hadn't brought clothes with him into the bathroom. There was a dull ache in his back and he rolled his shoulders to try to relieve it.

That was when he heard the soul splitting rip and felt a searing pain flood through his back. He was vaguely aware that someone was screaming.

Dean was having a fantastic dream, that he really didn't want to get out that he was having. He was snuggled into Cas' arms, just laying there, reveling in Cas' warmth and security. It was safe, and it felt nice to be wrapped up in his comforting embrace. He heard a scream pierce through his thoughts and he shot out of bed.

Dean frantically looked around, going into hunter mode instantly. He noticed that Cas was gone and he panicked. "He was just here!" his brain supplied for him and it took him a few seconds to come down. He ran to the bathroom, remembering that yes, he is still here, he just went to go take a shower. What he wasn't expecting to see was a bloodied Cas huddled in the corner of the shower, rocking back and forth. He was mumbling something under his breath and Dean could see that he wasn't all there.

Dean slowly inched into the room and carefully turned off the shower before climbing in next to him. "Cas?" he whispered hesitantly reaching his hand out to touch his shoulder. "Cas, can you hear me?" Castiel's eyes looked around the shower until they found Dean's and Dean smiled. "There you are, angel..." Cas was obviously in shock. His eyes were wide and his breathing was erratic. He didn't say anything, just scooted closer to Dean and wrapped his arms around his neck, indicating that he wanted to be picked up.

"Hold on, Cas. Easy goin'." Dean said as he slowly stood up next to him. Cas shakily stood up and looked around him some more before relaxing a tiny bit into Dean's arms. Dean smiled at this and carefully climbed out of the shower, wrapping his arm around his waist. "You're going to be alright, okay? You're fine." He was moving Cas back to the bed and he laid him down on his stomach.

His back looked terrible. There was blood everywhere, dripping down his back from a gaping wound by his shoulders. It was trying to clot, but everytime Cas moved, he sent another whimper into the air and it opened the hole yet again. Dean knew he had to do something, anything but he couldn't think straight. He was pacing now, hands in his hair. After a while, a thought finally occurred to him and he ripped apart their duffle bag trying to find the medical kit, only to find that it was hardly sufficient.

Dean was vaguely aware that his face was wet, and he didn't honestly care at the moment. He went back over to Cas and kissed his head, trying to make him as comfortable as possible. "You're okay... You're going to be okay..." He wasn't sure who he was reassuring, Cas or himself. Somewhere in there he had resorted to begging and at that point, Gabe popped in, unceremoniously dropping Sam on the other motel bed.

"Gabriel..." Dean whispered quietly looking up from Cas. "Wha-"

"I heard him scream." He said solemnly and he started work on his baby brother.


	11. Skating

Gabe took Sam to a lake in Michigan. It was quiet and the chill as it lay over the trees looked amazing in the glittering sun. If it weren't for the fact that Gabe hadn't prepared him for the cold weather he was about to be plunged into, he would have been pleased. But right now the only thing he could do was be pissed at Gabriel for not warning him. He was freezing.

"Thanks." Sam mumbled quietly, unable to keep the chill from causing his teeth to chatter. "Here, ya big lug." Gabe said as he materialized a jacket for Sam. "With how big you are I would expect you to be able to handle the cold." Sam glared at him again but was only met with an innocent smile and his anger was appeased... slightly.

"Why are we even here, Gabe? It's cold." Gabriel merely pointed at Sam's feet, having given him ice skates a little bit ago and flung his hands up in excitement. "Ice skating!" He proclaimed, and he dragged Sam onto the ice.

Sam laughed. He had never been ice skating before. In fact, the only time he had ever been to a lake was with the creepy ghost boy going around drowning people. This was different though, the ice layered over the top of the lake making it less ominous than Sam had no come to find lakes to be. He had always liked lakes, just something about the calm stillness to be found there made him feel calm as well; at least, thats how he imagined it would be.

Gabe was way ahead of him on the lake, doing little turns and showing off some things that were far too girly for a man to be doing. Thought it made sense that Gabriel was graceful and was able to do a double spinning jump, but he still didn't have to.

Sam slowly started to inch his way over to where Gabe was before promptly falling on his butt. Gabe was laughing so hard that he was holding his stomach and almost falling over himself. Sam blushed. He didn't know how to ice skate but that didn't mean that Gabe could laugh at him. Sam wobbled back up to his feet and almost fell over again, if not for Gabe standing there to hold him up.

"You know, you're lucky that I'm an Archangel or I wouldn't be able to do that." Grabriel said, grinning at him. "Come on, I'll help." He took a hold of Sam's hands and slowly started skating backwards keeping his eyes on Sam's face. Sam was blushing, skating slowly and losing his balance every once in awhile, only to be caught again by Gabe before he could fall over. There was something about the fact that an Angel was stopping him falling that made Sam shiver. Luckily, it was cold outside or he would look like a freak.

After about 15 minutes of skating around, Gabe froze and gazed off at something Sam couldn't see. Gabriel swallowed, and they were back at the motel room, Sam being pushed down on the bed. For a split second, Sam thought he might get pounced, but that was before he saw the writhing mess that was Castiel laying on the bed.

Dean was a wreck. He was pacing the room now that Gabriel was looking over Castiel, though the look on Gabe's face did not seem to assuring. "I... I can help, but..." He trailed off, but Dean stepped forward and the look he gave him was one of pure desperation, that he chose to continue. "I... I can't fix it all the way. They're not going to grow back, and there will always be a scar..."

"What aren't growing back?!" Dean shouted at him. "This is Cas we're talking about here. Tell me." Gabe looked him over and sighed. "His wings, Dean. The Host took them."


	12. He Wanted an Apple Pie Recipe

Dean was pacing for the next hour, idling wringing his hands, while Gabriel worked. The air was tense and Sam was at a loss for what to do. He couldn't help Gabe; he didn't even know what he was doing. He couldn't really help Cas at all either. So all that was left was to try to calm Dean down.

"Hey Dean..." He said after another few seconds of pacing. "What." Dean snapped back at him, still walking back and forth across the room. He was obviously freaking out, and there didn't seem to be much Sam could do to calm him down. "Maybe we can go out to eat, yeah? Give Gabe some space?" Dean nodded slightly and went to get dressed, absent mindedly tugging on his clothes. All the while, his brain was a tumult of emotion. No matter what he did, he couldn't help but to think about Cas; all the pain he must be in right now. If he thought hard enough about it, he could almost sense it. But that was silly. That didn't make sense at all.

Sam came over and touched his shoulder, and Dean realized he had been staring at the duffle bag for a while. "'mfine." He mumbled, brushing Sam's hand off of his shoulder. "Let's go." He glanced at Castiel again and walked out to the Impala.

The ride to the diner was silent. Dean was staring straight ahead the entire time, thinking of Cas back at the room. He felt even worse leaving him there like that, but he knew rationally that he was in good hands. He couldn't help but feel that he was abandoning him while he was at his weakest. He couldn't do anything to help anyway, but it felt like abandonment.

As they pulled into the parking spot, he felt a pulse pass through him and he shivered. They walked in going back to their original seats from just a few nights before, but without that third person there, it just felt wrong. This was the longest they had ever spent in one spot without a hunt and he was getting restless. Let alone the fact that Cas was dying a couple of blocks down the road.

Dean absently stared at the menu on the table thinking about what it would be like without Castiel sitting next to them, fighting next to them, heck even without him being there at all, it still felt better than how he did right now. A cheery voice interrupted his thoughts as the waitress asked for their order. Dean glanced at her then back at his menu completely at a loss for what to say. It usually wasn't this difficult, he got the same thing every time, but for some reason he couldn't think straight enough to give her an answer.

Sam ordered him a burger and glanced over at Dean, who was very busily engaged in a staring contest with his silverware, and from the look he was giving it, he was losing. "Dean, I-" Sam started to say, but when Dean looked up at him, the expression he held on his face cut him off. Dean looked... beaten, desperate maybe, but there was something else in the way his shoulders were slumped, or how he looked around the diner like he didn't belong. He was lost, like he had no purpose without Cas there next to him.

Just then the waitress came back with their drinks. "Hey, where's that brown haired fellow that was with you the other day?" She said as she set their drinks down, not even noticing the way Dean tensed, "He wanted an apple pie recipe but I couldn't just give it over without asking first. You know how it is." Dean couldn't bring himself to answer. How do you tell someone that Cas had his wings rip- removed? How could you when you can't even acknowledge it yourself?

Dean closed his eyes and sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Bit under the weather." He took a long sip of his drink and stood up. "Excuse me," he mumbled before walking towards the bathroom. He had to get out of there, it was all too much. The lights were making his head hurt, and the bed earlier must have messed up his back because that was hurting too. Or maybe it was when he was carrying his angel. No, wait not his angel, just Cas.

Dean sank down in one of the bathroom stalls and pressed his forehead against his knees, clutching his shoulder almost fitting his larger hand to it. If you looked close enough, you could almost see tears in his eyes.

A couple blocks down the street, Castiel was sitting against the headboard, crying into his brother's shoulder.


End file.
